Last night at Sticky Fingerz, while staring at the back of the lady with the ENORMOUS head and sparkly shirt who was making out with her boyfriend directly in between me and the band, I came to a realization. I realized where all the single boys in Little Rock were. They were all at home watching college football. It must be true, because they sure as hell weren’t at the bars. Not that I would talk to them anyway. Instead, I would sit around complaining to my friends about how no one ever talks to me. I’m kind of shy, believe it or not or maybe I’m too cocky. I think loads of great girls have both problems. I don’t want to be aggressive. That’s why I’m about to cave and start a My Space account.
My friend Kathy knows loads of single boys in Central Arkansas. Will they talk to girls they meet? No. Are they signed up for every dating service available on the World Wide Web? Yes they are. Does that kind of stuff take all of the fun out of meeting someone and getting to know them? Yes it does. I don’t want a guy to already know my top 5 favorite movies, favorite songs, favorite books and my dog’s name before we ever talk to each other. There are all these corporate dating, speed dating, meet your soul mate on-line things available now, I really believe it takes away all the fun stuff.
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Little Rock is one hard town to crack for singles, whether you’re here for a week or for life. If you’re here on business, you should probably concentrate on the business rather than meeting someone great. If you are in the market and you don’t want to take my great advice, go to the Flying Saucer downtown. Yes, it is a chain, but it seems to be where all the non-locals hang out. If you’re really lucky, you may meet a pilot for Southwest Airlines who is really eager to brag about it. If you go on Tuesdays, prepare to play trivia. They’ve recently added a ‘hard bar’ to the beer and wine menu, which makes them all right by me. If you’re a female, avoid the heck out of the piano bars. They are super fun, but the girl to guy ratio is about 6 to 1. Guys, I’ve heard this is a ‘hostile environment,’ so unless you’re just hell bent on singing the Arkansas Fight Song or Friends in Low Places, you might want to skip these places as well. If it’s a weekend and you’re willing to deal with all of the psuedo-cowboys, the Electric Mullet (Electric Cowboy) is as good or better of a pickup spot as any. Just bail before you chew your arm off in the morning. If it’s Thursday, head to Cajun’s Wharf. You have a better chance there than anyplace else. Especially if you’re pushing 40.
Could I complain more about my hometown? Maybe not. But I’ve met more guys in a week in Chicago than I have in months in Little Rock. What does that tell you, ladies? Lets all move to Chicago.